The fabric starts to tear
It's far beyond repair
And I don't really care
The Line Begins to Blur - Nine Inch Nails
This is how I'm starting to feel about everything. I just don't care. Oh, I knocked that over, I should probably clean it up. Let's not. That bug's kind of annoying. Kill it or shut up.
I've been isolating a bit. A LOT more thoughts of death. I've had the urge to throw myself into traffic or jump off of high places. I realized I was subconsciously more than happy to give away my possessions, which is a bad, bad thing. I've made progress from the 'no one would miss me' thing. Yeah. Now you just realize you're unimportant enough that they'll get over it. You'll be a memory. It's also finding pleasure in reminding me how much of an attentionwhore I am when it comes to R. If S gets any of her attention at the same time that I do, I feel ignored, or worse, and, it hurts her. It hurts HER? Are you fucking kidding me? Worry about us for once you moron. She's not worth it. She's worth it.
It won't give up, it wants me dead. God damn this noise inside my head.
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